A Fairy Tale Story (Or Not)
by Klassy

One upon a time, in a kingdom not so far away from your own, there lived a princess.

From the moment she was born, the townsfolk knew that she was different from most princesses.

She was quite ordinary, really. Not beautiful, not at all statuesque, not graceful. Quite awkward and clumsy.

For one thing, as a child, she would climb trees and bury her self in books ordered to be burned by the King and go out into town and watch moving pictures, pictures which opened her eyes to other worlds, quite unlike the sheltered existence the Queen placed her in. And she would get into all sorts of odd trouble, and scrape her knees and bruise her stomach.

Some times, the townsfolk would come to her rescue, and carry her back to the castle where they thought she was safe. But most times, and as the years dragged on, she found a way to escape from her jams and fixes herself.

When the princess came of age, she decided she did not need Prince Charming. She wanted other princes and princesses, too, and all quite at the same time. Perhaps in other worlds, quite unlike her sheltered own.

Secretly, the princess had other dreams, and these dreams did not include princes and princesses. She dreamed often. And dreamed quite dangerously. Her actions would sometimes follow these dangerous dreams.

The King of course did not approve and so did the Queen but what ever could they do. She had a mind of her own. They allowed her to be and figured they had raised a good child smart enough to learn from her own mistakes. Even if it meant that she had to go off kissing frogs, and other animals she thought enchanted.

The princess was weird, so to speak. And not without her wicked fetishes.

But one evening, the princess ventured out, not far from the castle, and off into a pond. In this pond, she felt safe. There were other animals of the night that roamed this hallowed place; some of which were already enchanted and acquainted with her.

And then she met a frog. And found herself quite smitten by the frog!

Thinking the frog would turn into another one of the princes she could fancy, she picked the animal up in her palm,

raised the frog up to her lips,

and kissed the frog.

She kissed the frog oh-so tenderly and oh-so lovingly that she allowed her mouth to open and stick her tongue in.

But, oh, how unfortunate! For this frog was not enchanted at all!

And in fact this frog was quite a bastard frog, that he leaped inside her mouth and forced himself down her throat.

And she never asked for the frog to enter her self, her precious throat. All she wanted was a kiss. And the hope that the frog might turn into a prince, a princess, someone she could love, like all the others.

The princess, in shock and stupor, fell to the ground, scraped her knees, bruised her stomach, clutching her throat, gasping for air.

She pounded on her throat, thinking she could force the heinous frog out.

She stuck a finger down her throat and thought she could vomit the frog out.

But, alas, such misfortune. For the frog was inside of her now, and would not leap out.

She cried out to all the other animals of the night. Some showed compassion and helped force the frog out. Some turned a blind eye and pretended not to hear her. Some jeered in amusement. Some blamed her for such a misfortune, thinking she was wicked and deserved this punishment.

It was then that the princess realized that she was all alone now.

And she cried and cried, and ran back to the castle, up back to her chamber, the frog still tucked away in her throat.

And the frog stayed inside of her, and scarred her throat. For all eternity.

And so did the princess. Inside her chamber, never to venture out into the pond, into the forest, or even into town again. For all eternity.

And so they lived together, the princess and this bastard frog. Not happily. Not ever. Not ever after.

Whenever she spoke, there was a frog in her throat.


About Klassy

How Klassy got her groove back.

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